Who has never been rejected in some way or another? I’m yet to meet 1 person who has had everything in their life go exactly how they had planned, how they wanted it and when they wanted it ever since they were born. I have had the amazing opportunity of experiencing rejection so many times, whether in the workplace, in the church and in relationships. Sadly some may even experience this in families. Countless times, I have gone through this but the best part of that experience was seeing myself coming out victorious and stronger each time! Me coming out victorious did not mean i was eventually accepted in those places again but it means somehow I learnt the art of accepting what is and gather strength to move on knowing that God was with me.
Rejection takes so many different forms but one thing that I have learnt in life is that we all at one point have to face rejection of some sort and that’s never a pleasant experience, but its how we handle the rejection that will determine whether or not we are going to survive it and come out at the top.
I never used to understand why I had to face rejection. Why did I have to go through this? After all I’m a good person, I’m nice to people, I’m very loving and hardworking so why do I have to face this horrible beast called rejection? I thought to myself. I remember the feeling I felt every time I experienced the wrath of this beast. I felt so cold, I struggled to sleep at night, so many questions but no one to answer them. I felt so ashamed, embarrassed and humiliated all because I was rejected. I remember some times I struggled to eat and I would lose so much weight, all of that because I got rejected. Sometimes I was so low in mood that I would shut the door and throw a pity party for myself and cry myself to sleep all because I felt rejected.
Then one day I remember I was walking to work. I left my house feeling sad. I had my earphones on and I was listening to a song called ‘I Almost Let Go…but God kept me’ by Kurt Carr. In the middle of that journey to work, somehow I felt God telling me that, “your life is in my hands and not in people’s hands. Those people or those situations that you feel have not dealt well with you are also in my hands. They have no power to do anything unless you allow them to.”Mind you this is a time I had no personal relationship with God (God was someone i only went to when i was in trouble and when he got me out of that trouble i would REJECT him and put him to the side) but he favoured me enough to snatch my mind out of the jaws of the enemy. The enemy wanted to steal my joy, my peace and my life, as we all know, he comes to kill, steal and destroy (John 10:10). It was in that moment something snapped in me I literally felt a pop in my heart like a knot had been untied and I had an aha! moment. In that instance the pain and sadness I had vanished. I came to the realisation that God is the one who holds my life in his hands and he is the only one with the final say over anything concerning my life. Only he knows the plans that he has for me, plans to prosper me and not harm me. Plans to give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11).
listen here, we are dealing with an enemy that is an opportunist. He waits for those moments when we are at our lowest to attack our minds. when you feel rejected the devil starts whispering to you, ”see you are not good enough, you will never amount to anything, they didn’t pick you because they think you are stupid…” he will whisper all the negative things until you start believing it. The devil is not emotional he does not feel sorry for you, all he wants is to destroy you by taking that problem you have and magnify it to the point that that problem becomes you. When the problem becomes you, you hate yourself and when you hate yourself you then go into destructive mode on your own life while the devil takes a comfortable seat somewhere eating popcorn watching your life crumble. All because of what? Rejection?! I began to fight to get my mind back, and to practice discipline with my feelings and you know what I succeeded in my own way. I became very tough like a soldier. I was no longer afraid to walk away from any situation that threatened to take away my happiness or any situation i felt was toxic to me. This was soon to become a problem in itself as i became so hard hearted and so consumed in protecting myself that i didnt realise in the process i was bruising others that came into my life. I became very brutal with my words especially when people did something to hurt me. I made sure i would sting them with my words to the point that i myself would start feeling sorry for them because of the things i would have said. Yes to the world i was very justified for the words I used. I even had friends who would cheer me on and tell me, “well done for standing up for yourself, you are a strong black woman.” but to God my attitude stunk and my words were disgusting before him. The problem here was that i had created my OWN coping strategy that did not involve God in it.
It took me 1 day, 11 years ago when i was faced with another rejection situation, hehe this time it was a different beast, it came with horns, tails, fangs and all. It was a different kind. It was so scary i found myself sitting at the corner of my bed crying out to a God i did not have a personal relationship with, a God that i had neglected all my life. I remember a still small voice saying to me, “if you want me to change your life you have to stop what you are doing. He was referring to all the things (in my mind i thought were good) i used to do to defend myself, my attitude, my tongue, my behaviour, my actions, basically i had to die to self in order for me to live again. When i thought i was tough and getting it all done by myself, i was basically killing who God had called me to be. I surrendered, i had to surrender, i had no choice. I was faced with a beast that was too big for me but thank God for amazing grace and mercy that came and snatched me out of the pits of hell. The blood of Jesus that never loses power came to save me. God led me to a church where i got baptised and received the Lord as MINE. My salvation journey began.
As my walk with the Lord began, He started to reveal to me that all these times that i felt i was being rejected, he was literally saving my life and my purpose. Even though some of the chaos was self inflicted, He reminded me he was a God who causes ALL things to work together for good for those who love the Lord…(Romans 8:28) He knew what was ahead because he was already in my future, a future that i was only yet to discover. God started walking me through each situation step by step and case by case from when i started feeling the sting of rejection. When i was rejected after numerous job interviews, God showed me that those jobs where not meant for me so he gave me a job without an interview, the panel that was meant to interview me greeted me, showed me around and asked me when i could start the job. I had Free accommodation for a few months and gifts from harrods every Christmas lol! (I just thought i would throw that in there lol!). For the rejection i faced in church, God said to me, one day when i went for my morning jog,” that was not rejection, i simply allowed it because its time for you to start worshipping me for who I’m and not what i have done for you. Worship me and don’t worship your service to me.” As soon as i began to dig deeper on what he had told me my life began to change for the better. When i stopped worshipping pastors or other people with titles and genuinely seeking the heart of god, my life changed. If it was rejection in a relationship, which a lot of people struggle with today the Lord didn’t tell me this one, but He opened my eyes to see it clearly for myself. I realised all the relationships that i felt i was rejected, looking back now there was NO WAY those people where going to be able to handle the road or purpose that God had upon my life. I was only going to end up frustrated and lost if those relationships were successful. Don’t get me wrong these were not bad people at all but they were not meant to go the journey with me and i was not to walk with them in their journey either. I remembered the verse in 1 John 2:19They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us; but their going showed that none of them belonged to us. Its funny that as i continued to grow i realised that some were not even my ‘type’ at all lol! I found myself thinking, if only i had known that God had this amazing plan for me, to prosper me, to give me a hope and a beautiful future (jeremiah 29: 10), I would never have wasted my tears on any of these situations that i viewed as rejection. But again if i had known, i would not have learnt the lessons i have learnt now and would not have needed God the way i do now.
So my message to you is, it is important to understand and believe that if God knew you before he formed you in your mothers womb (Jeremiah 1:5), then be rest assured that he knows the beautiful future he has for you. For you to reach that destination that God has set for you, you have to go through some obstacle courses and those courses will involve you being rejected in certain situations or places. There will be some detours in life but if you stay strong and never give up you will win the race and reach the finish line. If you just become STILL and know that Jesus is the Lord of your life and he is in control of everything, you will come out victorious. Just remember that what you see as rejection with your human eye it is actually God’s protection and elevation!
You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. You were created in his image and you are the apple of his eye. So no amount of rejection from anyone should make you feel like you are worth nothing. You are a child of a King and that King will never reject you. He holds your life in his hands!